Milestone events that other people look forward to, like your own wedding, the birth of a child, a child’s graduation, or holidays, feel fraught with anxiety and/or sadness.
Even when you think that you have lowered the expectations of your mother-daughter relationship enough, there are some situations where you become newly shocked or hurt by your mother’s behavior.
Unfortunately, it usually becomes evident that these events do give your mom a chance to show her true colors, and they were the same unsupportive colors as before.
Even if you’ve mostly gotten to a place where you accept that she is who she is and your relationship is what it is, it can be deeply embarrassing and uncomfortable to discuss your mom with other people.
If your mother never said “I love you,” you may say it to your children ten times a day and still worry that you aren’t being loved enough.